26.2.17

THINKERS ANONYMOUS

Do You Think To Much?
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.


I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

19.2.17

A Rescued Bird Becomes Permanent Family Member

source: Detechter

A young family in Newport, Australia rescued a few weeks old bird and nursed it back to good health. The bird—named Penguin, was found on the ground near the library by young Noah back in late 2013.  This bird, Penguin flies freely like any other bird but also returns to spent some time with the family as well.





















11.2.17

Love and Marriage

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tommy, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies,and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes to long to learn." (Leo, 7)

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." (David, 8)

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' are on TV." (Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)

PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU:
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE ?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like their hearts are on fire." (Christine, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY, "I LOVE YOU":
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS:
"You learn it right on the spot, when the 'gooshy' feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)
"It might help if you watched soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
Don't forget your wife's name...that will mess up the love." (Roger,8)

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out." (Randy,8)

5.2.17

Fun Facts that you always wanted to know

source: Begent Family Home Pages

·        If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
·        The strongest muscle in proportion to its size in the human body is the tongue.
·        Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
·        The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
·        Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
·        A person cannot taste food unless it is mixed with saliva. For example, if strong-tasting substance like salt is placed on a dry tongue, the taste buds will not be able to taste it. As soon as a drop of saliva is added and the salt is dissolved, however, a definite taste sensation results. This is true for all foods. Try it!
·        The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
·        Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself
·        Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.
·        Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
·        It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
·        Dogs have four toes on their hind feet, and five on their front feet.
·        The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
·        A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
·        Butterflies taste with their feet.
·        Elephants are the only mamals that can't jump.
·        Starfish don't have brains.
·        Polar bears are left handed.
·        A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
·        An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
·        The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
·        The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
·        Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating
·        Porcupines float in water.
·        Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
·        Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
·        A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
·        A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
·        A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!
·        Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into to shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
·        Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.
·        The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
·        The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to Test telex/two communications)
·        The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable".
·        Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
·        No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
·        "I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
·        The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
·        111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
·        If you spell out consecutive numbers, you have to go up to one thousand until you would find the letter "a"
·        Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better than men.
·        Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers were all invented by women.
·        The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
·        The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
·        Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
·        Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
·        Pearls melt in vinegar.
·        Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.
·        If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
·        Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
·        It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth.Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
·        If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die; they need gravity to swallow.
·        Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building, it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realise what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
·        Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
·        The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
·        More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in aircrashes.
·        Certain frogs can be frozen solid, then thawed, and survive.
·        Cat's urine glows under a black light.
·        A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
·        A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
·        To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs - it will let you go instantly.
·        If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times,but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
·        Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
·        The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
·        Coca Cola was originally green.
·        40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
·        Every person has a unique tongue print.
·        The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
·        Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
·        The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
·        The youngest Pope was 11 years old.
·        Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
·        Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
·        Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson".
·        In "Casablanca", Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it again, Sam".
·        In the TV series I Love Lucy, Ricki Ricardo never actually said "Lucy you have some 'splaining to do"
·        A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time: 1/100th of a second.
·        Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."
·        First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer
·        The mask used by Michael Myers in the original film "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.
·        James Doohan, who played Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott on Star Trek, was missing the entire middle finger of his right hand.
·        All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
·        Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
·        During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance.
·        The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
·        Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
·        Every day more money is printed for monopoly than the US Treasury.
·        The city with the most Roll Royces per capita: Hong Kong
·        Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
·        Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33
·        Cost of raising a medium-sized dog to the age of 11: £4000
·        Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."
·        The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
·        The term "whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got the "whole 9 yards."
·        The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
·        The US Interstate road system was designed so that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
·        The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of fuel that it burns.
·        A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.
·        The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
·        Most lipstick contains fish scales.
·        Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear trousers.
·        Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine
·        You can tell from the statue of a mounted horseman how the rider died. If all four of the horse's feet are on the ground, he died of natural causes. One foot raised means he died from wounds suffered in battle. Two legs raised means he died in action.